Days went by slow and nights were endless. Lester and Averly lost track of time and it didn't matter anymore. They stayed in their houses, not saying much and not contributing anything at all to society. Nobody moved much, nobody spoke, and nobody felt alright. It felt as though nothing would ever be the same again, but things change.

Bit by bit, time began to heal their wounds. Averly eventually got up off the floor and stopped feeling sorry for herself. There was nothing she could do about James' death. That didn't mean she stopped feeling sad, though. When she finally unlocked her bedroom door and stepped out of her room, the house felt too spacious. Averly missed the comforting feeling of being solely confined to her bedroom. She stalled at the threshold for a few moments until she finally made her way out, wandering down the hallway and traveling down the stairs slowly. Jessica was there to greet her at the bottom, dropping everything she had been doing to comfort her sister. And the tears just kept on flowing.

It took Lester a bit longer to cope with the news of his brother's death. He would never fully accept the fact that he was gone, never to be seen again. Even though the last few years of their relationship had been strained, Lester would have done anything to have James back. So for a long time, he just laid on his floor, the television flickering silent images across the screen. He didn't do much of anything. He got up only when absolutely necessary, and then collapsed right back to his previous position on the floor.  He felt completely useless, but there was nothing to be done, so Lester had no reason to move.

When he finally found the courage to get up, Lester was right back where he started; feeling lonely and vulnerable, not knowing exactly what to do with himself. Television didn't interest him, nor did reading. And listening to music was out of the question. He wandered around the large empty house, and one day, he went into James' room.

Lester cracked open the door and hesitantly treaded into the bedroom. He slowly dragged himself over to the unmade bed, carefully sitting down. On the nightstand was a picture of him and James when they were toddlers. They were on their new, bright red tricycles with contagious smiles plastered on their angelic faces. Lester bit his lip and turned the photograph facedown on the surface. Looking around, everything was painful to look at; James' guitar in the corner, his keyboard by the wall, the rocking chair by the window. Everything had some air of nostalgia. Memories were closely connected with everything this room held. Lester remembered writing songs with James on the guitar and playing the piano, singing beautiful harmonies together. He recalled sitting with his brother on the rocking chair, reading stories and imagining of their futures that would never exist. And when they fell asleep, they dreamt dreams that would never come true. When they got older, nightmares haunted their slumbers, silencing their pleasant dream indefinitely.  

And when Lester couldn't stand to be in his brother's room anymore, he quickly walked out, closing the door behind him.

"Do you want me to do your hair?"

Averly looked up into the mirror, meeting the reflection of her sister's eyes. She was running a brush through her dark, wavy hair. She placed the brush down, nodding.

Jessica plugged in the flatiron, brushing Averly's hair as she waited for it to heat up. Averly was silent, her eyes cast downward as Jessica groomed her. She played with the cord of her bathrobe to distract herself. She cringed as Jessica accidentally nicked her neck with the iron.

"Oh, sorry about that. Are you alright?" Jessica asked, pulling her sister's hair back to check for any visible marks.

Averly nodded again. She didn't say much of anything these days. It didn't hurt much. She was used to pain, physical and emotional. These days, a fine line separated them.

This scene that played out before her seemed so familiar. Only the last time it happened, the mood was happier and she was preparing for a date, not a funeral. There would be no lighthearted teasing involved in this conversation. The mood just wasn't right. It was too soon. Jessica continued to fix Averly's hair in silence, more carefully now.

"Okay, I'm done," Jessica announced, patting her sister's shoulder. "Let's pick out a dress for you."

Jessica put her arm around Averly and they made their way to her closet. She pulled the light cord down to illuminate the closet. Jessica began to sift through the dozens of outfits to find the right one. After a minute, she pulled out a long, dark dress.

"Ah, here's mine," Jessica stated, laying the dress aside on her bed. It was new and she had to find a pair or scissors to cut the tag off. "Find yours, Lee."

Averly continued to search through the clothes to find her own black dress. She spotted it, and was about to take it off the rack when she eyed the blue dress next to it. She touched it sadly, remembering the carefree date she went on with Lester. That had been a nice night. Averly shook the memory away and continued to take her black dress off its hanger. She was living in the present, not the past. What's done is done.

"Go get changed, we need to leave soon," Jessica said, urging her sister out of the room. Averly meandered to her bathroom, slowly changing into her black dress. It was pretty, spaghetti straps with lace and falling just below her knees. But it wasn't important to look attractive today. All Averly had to do was look presentable, wear black, and show up.

Averly touched some makeup on, making sure to use her waterproof mascara. She would need it. She had a feeling her eyes wouldn't stay very dry.

A few moments later, Jessica knocked on the door.

"Are you ready?" she questioned softly, her voice muffled by the door.

Averly exited the room warily. "Yes," she answered quietly. She put on a brave smile as Jessica clasped her hand tight. They descended the stairs gradually, heavily.

They made their way outdoors and Averly let go of her sister's hand. "I think I'm going to take my own car, Jess," she informed.

Jessica tilted her head to the side. "Are you sure?" she asked.

Averly nodded. "There's something I need to do first."

Jessica rubbed Averly's shoulder. "Alright."

They went their separate ways, each climbing into their own cars.

Averly waited until Jessica was out of view. Then she went the other way, driving to a familiar house. She seemed to get there too fast, and before Averly knew it, she was pacing up the walkway. The last time she was here, she was being carried in his arms, kissed by his perfect lips. It felt like that day was so long ago, when it reality, it wasn't. Averly felt older, more tired, and more prone to injury and disappointment now. Averly knocked on the door rapidly.

Lester answered and he too looked older, and it wasn't just the suit he was wearing. In an eerie fashion, he looked like his brother. Averly never noticed it much before this moment. They had the same sad eyes and the way their mouths naturally turned down ever so slightly was very similar. The both had that burdened, tortured look to them. It ached for Averly to see him now that James was gone.

"Hi," he said in a raspy voice. It was the first time he had spoken in a long time.

"Hi. I was just stopping by to see if you needed a ride," Averly said hesitantly.

Lester paused. "Sure. Come in."

Averly walked in slowly as Lester turned back towards a mirror in the room.

"Are you ready?" she asked, watching him.

Lester groaned in frustration. "I can't tie this damn tie," he muttered.

Averly smiled slightly, a gesture that she didn't use very often. "Here," she said, moving in front of him. She easily knotted the tie into place, fixing Lester's jacket too.

"Thanks," he said, his tone laced with embarrassment.

Averly nodded. "You look nice," she complemented.

A light blush rose in Lester's cheeks. "Thanks. So do you."

Averly glanced over at a clock on the wall. "We'd better get going," she mentioned, he voice dropping to a more morbid tone.

Lester's face dropped, nodding in agreement. Her shoulders were slumped slightly, prepared for the impending ceremony. They sulked out to the car, driving in silence to the funeral.

It was a quiet ceremony. It was kept so private that the public didn't even know about it. It was strictly close friends and family. Not many people were there. Lester's mother didn't attend, nor did his father. They probably didn't care much about their eldest son's death. They didn't care for James much in his life.

Averly sat between her sister and Lester. It was sad, yet comfortable. Lester didn't cry, which Averly found strange. She'd always found him to be emotional, so she was surprised that he show absolutely no emotion today. He just stared hard at the floor, unmoving. Averly herself struggled to keep control and Jessica was eyeing her carefully, armed with tissues just in case things got messy.

Gregory sat a few rows back, not looking very upset at all. He just seemed content. Sitting next to him, Mercedes was a different story. She was a blubbering mess.

The pastor went on talking about James' life. Averly learned that his middle name was Mason and he had been born in Texas. It made her sad knowing that James never had the chance to tell her this when she was alive. He never once mentioned Lester. Averly glanced over at him and noticed that a pained expression formed on his face. The world never knew that James had a brother. Averly slipped her hand into his, squeezing it gently. Lester flashed her a watery smile that she returned.

Another aspect about the ceremony that bothered Averly was that the pastor continually talked about how great James' life had been up until the crash. It hadn't been great, and the only person who really knew of his struggles was Averly. Even Lester had been in the dark, assuming that his brother enjoying living the high life. But this wasn't true, and James didn't enjoy his life all that much.

After the pastor finished speaking, guests were allowed to walk by the open casket. Averly had been looking over a decorated poster board that depicted James' life. Childhood pictures were neatly pasted on the collage. In every one of them, Lester was also pictured. They must have never been apart. The images may have confused strangers who didn't know James had a brother, but most of the people who attended today knew that Lester existed, but didn't say anything to him.

Lester still sat in the pew, continuing to stare down at the floor. Averly walked back, taking a seat next to him. The church was mostly empty now. Most of the guests had filed out about ten minutes ago.

"Are you alright?" Averly asked quietly.

Lester didn't move, battling his emotions to keep his expression indifferent. He nodded slowly, carefully. After a moment, he seemed to regain some sort of composure.

"Do you want to see him?" he questioned timidly, his eyes finally meeting Averly's.

Averly deliberated. She honestly wasn't planning on passing by James' casket. She didn't really want to see him now that he wasn't alive.

"Please?" Lester croaked. "I don't want to go alone."

He looked so heartsick and delicate that Averly couldn't decline. Standing up, she took a deep breath and grabbed Lester's hand. Together, they slowly made their way to James.

Flowers were strewn over his rich mahogany coffin. A picture that captured his beauty was placed just below the casket. Averly closed her eyes and set her eyes on James.

He was still just as gorgeous as ever. There were tiny scars and scratches still evidence from the accident. His color was drained and his skin tone now matched his brothers'. A lump rose in Averly's throat as she gazed at him. She so desperately wanted him to be alive again.

Averly tore her eyes away from James for a moment to look at Lester.

He was struggling for control. Unblinking, he stared down at his brother. Hesitantly, he bent down and whispered so low that Averly could hardly hear.

"I love you," he choked.

He had said it to his brother's face, but now it didn't matter. James couldn't hear it. James was dead.

Averly bit her lip, a tear rolling down her cheek. "It's okay to cry, Les," she said in a strained voice.

Lester looked up at her, his eyes already watering. That was what James had told him when he was four.

Averly didn't need to say it twice. Immediately, Lester began sobbing, letting out all of the emotion he had pent up since James had died. Averly pulled him into her arms, soothing him while she too cried.

It felt as though the world was ending, but Lester and Averly had each other at the moment and that's all that really mattered.

Averly is a sarcastic radio host, starving to become the next big underground music act. She's intrigued by Lester Torres. He's living her dream - playing the gigs that she's been trying to book for years. He craves breaking into the mainstream industry that Averly despises. When Averly begins to live his dream, it shatters their relationship and quickly turns her life into a nightmare.


Eternal August



Chapter Twenty Eight



Nothing was fair. He had followed the rules, right? He couldn't have gotten hit when he ran that red light? That at least would've felt more appropriate, more strangely satisfying. But no, nothing in life went the way James wanted it to go. So now he was lying on the side of the road, battered and broken, unable to move.

Everything hurt. James was dying and he knew it. His arm was twisted the wrong way and his head was bent awkwardly to the side, staring into a shard of glass. He could see himself, his image reflecting in the moonlight off the glass. Even if he didn't want to look at himself, James didn't have the power to move a muscle.

If only his fans could see him now. He was a mess; not the beautiful, breathtaking James Torres that they were all familiar with. Blood trickled down his temple and from his full lips, pooling on the pavement. Glass littered his dark hair. James struggled for painful breaths. He could feel the skin scraped away from his jaw, the bone jutting through piercingly. It was raining, every drop adding to the agony James was already in.

He couldn't move anything. It even was excruciating to blink. His lungs felt like they were on fire with every ragged breath he took. Why couldn't he just die already? It was inevitable. There was no possible way that he could survive this.

If he could move, James would've done something to end his life faster. He would have grabbed that sharp fragment of glass and plunged it into his neck. Anything to escape the pain he was in.

James wasn't sure what was worse - the physical pain or the emotional. Both were comparably agonizing, neither outweighing the other. But if James had to choose, he would've embraced the physical pain in place of the emotional. James couldn't live knowing how much he'd disappointed the ones he loved.

So this was the way James was going to pass - unloved. The final image of his beloved brother that he held in his mind was that heartbreaking scene that unfolded in front of him that night. Maybe if James had stuck around to make amends, he wouldn't be in this mess. Maybe everything would be alright. But that was a pretty big maybe.

The last words Averly said to him were 'I hate you'. She meant them and James could feel it. She would probably think that he deserved everything he got and that he had it coming to him. And in a way, James believed this too. He was the antagonist in the story of his life.

All he wanted to do was please those two people in his life. If he could just make Averly and Lester happy, James didn't mind if he disappointed the rest of the world.

He would miss Lester. He would miss those timid, lopsided smiles that were especially reserved for him. He would miss his music, his laugh, the way his eyes lit up at the simplest things. He would miss comforting his little brother whenever he felt down. But James wouldn't miss the silences, the blank stares and the tears. He would miss the good times.

He would miss the forts that he and his brother would build during thunderstorms, driving away the bad thoughts and creating newer, happier ones. He longed to relive the days where he and Lester would dance out in the summer rain, splashing in the puddles and poking the soggy worms with stray twigs. He missed the times when Lester would climb up on the basement coffee table, belting out classic tunes into a plastic microphone for his audience of one. James would always clap wildly, appraising his little brother generously. He would miss when he and Lester would camp out in the backyard, singing themselves to sleep until the neighbors would complain. He would miss the old days, the days when it was unimaginable to lose touch with his brother.

He would also miss Averly. James hadn't known her for very long, but he would miss her all the same. He would miss her lighthearted, senseless banter and her awed look anytime he gazed in her eyes. She was a simple person and she made him happy. He loved carrying her. She was petite and trusting as she curled up against his chest. And even though James kissed many girls in his life, Averly was far better than any of them. She was the only girl who made his heart beat faster and his breath catch in his throat. Usually, he was the one dazzling the ladies, not the other way around. Averly captivated him and James would really miss that.

James could faintly make out the sound of the other frantically talking to an EMT. He hadn't even heard the ambulances approach. James was so far gone that he could hardly register much of anything. He just barely caught a bit of the conversation. The other driver fell asleep at the wheel and had hit the tail end of James' car. His little car didn't stand a chance against the massive eighteen wheeler that had crushed it. Along with the fact that James didn't buckle his seatbelt, he knew he wouldn't survive. His car had spun around and flipped, glass flying everywhere while James was launched out of the windshield.

The pain was so overwhelming, but James didn't have the energy to scream. Warm blood oozed from the multiple wounds occupying his tattered body. Emergency medical technicians surrounded him and James wanted to tell them not to move him, because everything hurt too much. One was trying to talk to him, but the words he spoke sounded slow and disconnected, and James couldn't even see him, much less understand what he was saying. His vision was clouded now and his breaths were few and far between. His lungs screamed for air but James simply couldn't supply it. His head hurt him so badly that James was sure it was going to explode. That would have been a relief, to escape this unbearable pain.

James prayed hard to die, and right there on the street, his prayers were answered.  

He left the world feeling dejected, unwanted and entirely abandoned.

After hearing of his brother's passing, Lester was on the floor, not moving. He wasn't going to cry - no, he was past feeling anything. It was nighttime now. He willed himself into a blank, thoughtless daze, focusing his eyes on one spot on the ceiling. Maybe if he sat their long enough without any food or water, Lester would die. In the moment, that sounded very pleasant. He would be with James. He would be in heaven, hopefully. In heaven, everything was paradise. Nothing was insufferable. Lester and James would be best friends again and everything would be alright. Their relationship would be as natural as breathing, as it had once been. There would be no hate, no silences, and no coldness between them.

But Lester was still alive, living in his own personal Hell at the moment.

Lester strolled through his memories, attempting to block out the reality that was going on around him. He remembered the last pleasant memory that he had with his brother.

"Are you excited?" James chirped, glancing at Lester.

He nodded vigorously, a smile on his face that was nearly impossible to wipe off. James chuckled, ruffling his little brother's hair.

Lester smacked James' hand away. "Eyes on the road or we'll never make it to the interview!" he exclaimed.

James shook his head, still laughing. "Relax. I can't believe this! You’re going to be famous Lessie!"

Lester bit his lip. "You don't know that," he said hesitantly.

"Of course I do! You're amazing. This label would be crazy not to sign you," James praised.

Lester shrugged. "Stranger things have happened."

James pulled into the studio lot, parking in an open space. "Don't be nervous, Les. You'll do great. Break a leg," he said.

Lester nodded, getting out of the car. He paced up to the building, tripping on the sidewalk.

James chuckled. "I didn't mean literally. Careful, buddy," he said, helping him up.

A smile broke out on Lester's face, his eyes sparkling. "Thanks for bringing me here Jamie."

"Anytime," he replied, stopping at the front entrance. James turned around to face his brother, placing his hands on his shoulders.

"You ready, Les?" he asked.

Lester looked up at his older brother, still grinning. He embraced him tightly.

"Thanks. For everything, I mean," he said, his soft voice muffled by James' windbreaker.

"Of course," James answered, hugging his brother back. "And Lester? No matter what happens in here, I love you."

Lester pulled back to look at James. "I love you to Jamie."

And together, they went to the interview that would forever alter their course of their life.

Lester cursed himself for ever having that dream. He shouldn't have wanted to become famous. It was his fault that James was dead. He decided that he would never have dream again.

Lester went back to not thinking, not remembering, and not feeling anything. Tonight, he was numb.

Averly wasn't. She felt so much emotional pain that she was writhing on the floor, screaming and sobbing. No, this couldn't be happening to her. James simply couldn't be dead. He had been right there next to her yesterday. He just couldn't be gone.

Everything hurt. She had screamed that she hated him and now she was paying the price. He would never hear otherwise, and those were possibly the last words that James ever heard.

Averly screamed once again, until the sound setting into a discontented cry.

Jessica had given up trying to persuade her out of her room long ago. Averly couldn't follow orders at the moment. Her mind went into overdrive after she read the news about James, not able to process much of anything logically. She could do nothing. The only thing she could feel was pain.

The tears wouldn't stop and the cries wouldn't silence. Averly's throat was raw and her vision was blurred by now, but that was the least of her worries. James was dead and she was partially to blame. It felt as though there was a gaping hole in Averly's chest that refused to heal. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, trying to shield her body from anymore pain. This was useless and the agony continued.

Averly couldn't comprehend how this could happen to someone like James. He was too perfect. It just goes to show that death strays from nobody. No person can avoid it.

She could not imagine James lying fragile and vulnerable in the streets, all alone and in the rain. She didn't want to visualize this. Averly wished that she was there with him, accompanying James in his last moments of life. She wished she could have been there with him, holding his hand and apologizing, then dying besides him. But at the same time, she didn't want to see him die. Never.

Averly would've done anything to bring James back. She couldn't take this pain anymore.

Averly yearned for him. She wanted nothing more than to be held by his strong arms, to be kissed by his perfect, soft lips. She needed him like she needed air to breath. Now that her oxygen supply had run out, what was there to save Averly?

Nobody.

That night, Averly and Lester were left suffering the same battle alone. Nobody slept. Everyone mourned.

And in their minds, sad songs played ceaselessly.

Gregory sat at home, counting his money. He lived a lavish lifestyle and he certainly did not need to worry about finances. He thrived on wealth and success. Taking a sip of his exquisite wine, he placed another hundred dollar bill on a growing pile at his table.

Gregory loved the smell of money. Others found it dirty and repugnant, but in if were to ever be bottled as perfume, Gregory would be all over the woman who wore it. He grinned to himself, making a mental note to one day pitch that sales idea.

'Brilliant,' he internally praised, treating himself to another glass of wine. Why be stingy? He was the only one indulging in drinking tonight.

Gregory used to go on dates, but he found them too expensive. He'd spend the majority of the time worrying about the impending bill rather than actually enjoying the date itself. It didn't matter if the girl was nice, it only mattered how much of his money she spent. Gregory found that he liked the girls who offered to pay for their half of the dinner. Those were the types he'd ask on a second date. No, Gregory certainly wasn't a gentleman, but because of this he lived an extravagant life. In the long run, he found that any girl would set him back a few dollars, so he stopped dating altogether. The only partner he needed in life was his cash. Money doesn't tell you its problems or make you turn off the television when it wants to talk. It doesn't make you mow the lawn or take out the trash. In fact, you could pay someone money to do those chores. Gregory wins either way. Who needs human contact?

He also didn't care to ever have a family. Children were little money eaters. Diapers and formula don't grow on trees. The kid would grow up, and want toys for Christmas and birthdays. That would cost a pretty penny. Then the teenage years would come.

"Daddy, I'm going to the mall! I need a twenty!"

Yeah, right. And God forbid the kid gets a car. Insurance and money for gas would put a good sized dent in Gregory's wallet. Then the teenager would want to go to college. He shuddered just thinking about the expenses that would go into that.

No, none of that would be worth the love of a proper family.

He put another hundred down on the pile. This was his family.

His phone rang loudly. Pushing his chair back, Gregory marched over to it. Taking it off the cradle, he put the phone to his ear.

"Gregory Sloan," he said professionally.

"Gregory, it's Andrea. I just got a call from the hospital saying that James Torres was in an automobile accident," she informed him.

James? His best money maker? "Is he alright?" Gregory asked with concern.

Andrea sighed. "No. He was pronounced dead at the scene."

"Damn it!" he spat.

"I'm sorry Sir," she said soothingly.

"Get back to work," he growled.

"Yes Mr. Sloan," Andrea said, disconnecting the line.

Gregory slammed the receiver down angrily. He wasn't upset about the death of James. He was upset over the money he would lose. That kid made him wealthy. All of that money just went out the window. He sighed, picking up the phone again and dialed a number.

"Hello?"

"Averly! We need to talk," Gregory demanded. He needed to break the news to her before she heard it from someone else and decided to quit. He needed her to be his next big moneymaker. She could pay for a nice new car or home.  

"Now's not really a good time, Gregory," she said in a low, hushed tone.

"This is urgent, Averly. Something has…come up."

"Well it can wait. I have to go," she said.

"Averly, listen to me - " Gregory urged frantically.  

"Goodbye," she said, cutting him off and ending the call.

Gregory cursed at the dial tone. Maybe she already heard about it. After all, news like this travels fast. But she didn't sound too upset. Maybe Averly didn't really care about James all that much. Oh well.

Gregory huffed, hanging up the phone and went back to counting his money. He assured himself that there was no real reason to be worried. He was rich, and one loss wasn't going to break his career. Any kid would jump at the chance to have James' job and many teenagers were as talented and good looking.

Gregory felt satisfied as he finished counting. The next big act was right around the corner. Who needed James Torres?

Four hours after Gregory had gotten the news, Jessica had just gotten home from a road trip that had gotten cut short. Her friend Kayla had come down with a nasty case of food poisoning and didn't want to continue. Jessica was forced to drive back home. Sighing, she looked around the house only to find it empty.

"Lee?" she called, placing her bags down and poking her head into the kitchen. On the table were Averly's keys. Jessica rolled her eyes. Her sister was always forgetting something. She wondered where she had been taking up residence for the past few days. Picking up the phone, she dialed Averly's cell phone.

"Hello?" Avery answered. She sounded as if she had sprinted to the phone.

"Lee! Where are you?"

"Hey Jess. I'm with a friend," she replied.

"Oh, okay. Well I just got home," Jessica told her sister, flipping through the mail.

"I thought you were supposed to be gone all week."

Jessica sighed. "Well Kayla got sick. She didn't want to keep going so we turned around and came back."

"Oh. Maybe I'll come home then," Averly said.

"Alright. See you soon."

"Bye Jess," Averly said, closing the conversation.

"Bye Lee."

Jessica hung up the phone and paused to read the newspaper. A picture of James occupied the front page. God, that kid was gorgeous. And to think, he had been in this kitchen! Jessica smiled to herself, imagining that magnificent boy standing there. She briefly wondered if Averly had a thing with him. Maybe they were even going out. Jessica internally cheered for her sister, glad that she could nab such a guy.

But any happiness was washed away when Jessica read the headlines.

She held the paper at an arms length. It couldn't be, could it? He couldn't really be dead, right? Things like this didn't just happen to people like James.

Averly was going to be devastated. Jessica didn't know how involved her sister was with James. She hoped she wasn't too close. Jessica hated to see Averly upset.

About a half hour later, Averly stomped into the house, slamming the door. Jessica was there to greet her.

"Oh Averly, I'm so sorry," she said, embracing her.

"What are you talking about?" Averly asked, pulling away. She had to know, right? James was her friend. Poor kid must be in denial.

Jessica stroked her hair. "If you want to talk, I'm here, okay?"

"Sure," Averly said uncomfortably.

Jessica watched sadly as her sister went to her room and locked the door. It was quiet, which was not quite the reaction she was expecting. Jessica waited at the foot of the stairs, listening. She didn't move. A few minutes later, she heard a horrific scream come from Averly's bedroom. Jessica rushed up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. She heard something break and Averly fall heavily on the floor. Pounded on the door, she begged her sister to let her in. But the only reply was heart-wrenching sobs on the other side of the door.

Jessica wasn't quite expecting this reaction from her little sister. This scared her. Averly didn't cry often, so this was rare and terrifying.

Averly must have cared for James more than she realized.

Avery and Lester were sitting on the couch and had been situated there for the past four hours. They were watching some horrible reality show where everything was obviously scripted. It was just dreadful. Averly didn't even know what was going on. She wanted to leave, but she couldn't. She had nowhere to go. And besides, it looked like Lester was enjoying himself.

It wasn't that he liked the reality show. Like Averly, he didn't know what was going on either. But he enjoyed spending time with her. He hoped she wouldn't leave anytime soon.

Averly's phone rang loudly from the kitchen and she gladly rushed to answer it.

"Hello?" she asked breathlessly.

"Lee! Where are you?"

Averly smiled. She immediately recognized the voice. "Hey Jess. I'm with a friend," she replied.

"Oh, okay. Well I just got home," Jessica told her sister.

"I thought you were supposed to be gone all week."

Jessica sighed. "Well Kayla got sick. She didn't want to keep going so we turned around and came back."

"Oh. Maybe I'll come home then," Averly said, glancing at Lester, who was still sitting on the couch, too far away to hear what she was saying.

"Alright. See you soon."

"Bye Jess," Averly said, closing the conversation.

"Bye Lee."

Averly shut her phone and slowly made her way to the front room. Lester looked up at her, the deep scratches on his face still evident. They were dark, scabbed over and likely to scar, leaving a permanent reminder of the other night. She didn't want to leave him, but it was inevitable. Averly would go stir crazy if she stayed here any longer. She smiled at him timidly and his wide, doleful eyes made her feel guilty. He tried to grin back, but it wasn't a real smile. It wasn't the smile he used to give Averly. She wasn’t sure if she would ever see that smile again, and that made her heart break. She caused him to feel this way.

"Hey Les, I think I'm going to go," Averly said gently.

Lester's face dropped, a morose expression washing over him. "What? Where are you going?" he asked sadly.

Averly gulped. "Home."

Lester looked down miserably. "Why?" he questioned brokenly.

"I can't stay here forever," she answered, biting her lip.

Lester's eyes met hers. "I want you to stay."

"Why would you want me to stay? I hurt you, Lester. I'm not a good person," she said seriously.

"But I don't want to be alone," he piped, fighting tears.

Averly's throat burned and she too battled emotion. "Why me?" she asked hoarsely.

Lester paused for a second. "Because there's nobody else," he said truthfully, turning away.

He had nobody. Averly was the only person who cared enough to be with Lester, and she only hurt him. But he always tried to find the good in people, even if there was none to find.

"You can't be friends with me Lester. I'm not good for you," she said.

Lester looked up again, tears in his eyes. "But I love you," he said softly, brokenly.

Averly shook her head. "You can't," she said forcefully.

"I can't help what I feel."

Averly got up off the couch, running a hand through her hair. "You're not supposed to feel this way," she said.

"But I do," Lester croaked.

Averly turned back toward him. "You're supposed to hate me!" she yelled, jabbing a finger towards herself.

Lester sank back on the couch. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

He looked so small. "You have no reason to be sorry," she said, kneeling down in front of him. "I'm supposed to be sorry."

"Are you?" Lester asked hesitantly.

"Yes," she said quietly. "And I'm sorry I have to leave. Goodbye Lester."

Averly walked out quickly, closing the door behind her.

Lester sat back on the couch, unmoving. He wouldn't cry. He couldn't.

Averly ran down the walkway, her feet beating to an erratic course. She needed to get away. Frantically waving down a cab, Averly hopped in and gave the cab driver her address. He didn't say anything, most likely afraid that Averly would start crying. She did look like mess and she had every reason to. When he pulled up to her house, Averly threw some money at him and ran out. She rushed up the stairs, slamming the door on her way in. Jessica was there to greet her sister at the door.

"Oh Averly, I'm so sorry," she said, embracing her.

"What are you talking about?" Averly asked, pulling away. Jessica couldn't possibly know about her and Lester. Maybe she could just tell that Averly was visibly upset. She was her sister, after all.

Jessica stroked her hair. "If you want to talk, I'm here, okay?"

"Sure," Averly said uncomfortably.

Jessica watched sadly as her sister went to her room and locked the door.

Averly threw herself on her bed, feeling like the worst person in the world. Lester was so pure, so innocent. How he could ever love someone like Averly, she had not a clue. It wasn't that she didn't love him back; it was that she didn't deserve his love in the first place. Averly had strong feelings for his brother for God's sake. It wasn't right.

A tear trailed down her cheek. She was so confused. Averly wished everything would straighten itself out.

Nothing was right.

Nothing was right for Lester either. He was still sitting on his couch, staring at the flickering images on the television, even though he wasn't really seeing much of anything. He didn't feel much of anything either. He tried to pull himself back to a simpler time.

He was eleven and James was thirteen. Lester can remember this night like it was yesterday. He tended to recall a lot of painful memories that he'd rather suppress.

Lester sat by his window, curled up and rocking back and forth. His eyes were tightly clamped shut, but that didn't stop the hot tears from escaping. He had his hands braced over his ears firmly, not wanting to hear the shrill screams that came from downstairs. The screams belonged to his parents, who were fighting their final battle.

His parents always had a strained relationship. Maybe at one point they loved each other, but that affection was had to detect now. His mother wanted to be with his father, but the feeling wasn't mutual. The household was now either filled with icy silences or shouting. It was uncomfortable in any form.

Light flowed in from the hallway, illuminating the pitch black room. Lester squinted, looking up at the form at the doorway. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. James came over to his little brother, kneeling down by his side and embracing him. Lester turned into James' body, crying into his shoulder.

"It's okay," James murmured comfortingly, rubbing his back.

"What are they fighting about this time?" Lester blubbered.

"Nothing," James said softly.

Lester pulled back, looking his brother in the eyes. "They’re fighting about me, aren't they?" he asked, sniffling.

Lester had broken a plate that morning. He had been washing the dishes without being asked, trying to help around the house. When he was putting them away, the cabinets were too high and a plate slipping from his grasp and fell to the floor, shattering into pieces. He cleaned up the mess, but he was afraid of how his parents would react.

"Of course not, Les. You didn't do anything wrong. The plate you broke this morning was an accident," James said soothingly.

But Lester still felt guilty. He thought that for some reason, his parent's argument was his fault. In reality, James didn't know if his mom and dad were fighting about the dish. They could have very well been; almost anything seemed to set them off these days. A broken plate would seem like a logical thing to fight about to them, but James wasn't about to tell his little, delicate brother this. He didn't need to feel burdened for anything else. James would do anything to spare Lester's hurt feelings.

Lester eventually cried himself out and fell asleep in his brother's arms. James picked him up and placed him in his bed, pulling the sheets securely over his small frame and kissing his cheek. He sat by the window, watching the night. James was still awake when his father slammed the door and left the house. He never did come back.

But this was a simpler time, and even if Lester didn't considering it a particularly happy memory, he liked to remember his and James' relationship in this way. Even if nobody else in the world cared for them, they cared for each other and that's all that mattered.  

Now, as Lester sat on the couch, he wanted nothing more than to see his brother again. By pure coincidence, an image of James flashed on the television screen. Lester sat up, his eyes fixated on the image. He scanned the rest of the screen. Over the picture, the title read 'Breaking News.'

Under the image were words that Lester never wanted to see ever in his lifetime.

'James Torres was in auto accident yesterday night. He was pronounced dead at the scene…'

He couldn't read anymore. Lester felt himself go numb. This couldn't be real. He closed his eyes, but he couldn't get the words out of his head. Dead. James was dead. Lester felt this burning pain in his chest that overwhelmed him and he collapsed onto the floor.

Dead. His brother, his best friend was dead.

Lester screamed. It was all over.  

Averly got up from her bed. She needed to do something. Pacing over to the computer, she tapped the mouse to wake it from sleep mode and clicked onto the internet browser. She scanned the news stories on her homepage and a picture of James caught her eye. Averly clicked on it, opening the story.

The title of the article made her blood run cold.

'Pop Sensation James Torres Killed In Accident.'

Averly's eyes widened in horror and she let out a bloodcurdling scream. Moments later, Jessica began pounded on the door, begging her sister to open it, but Averly couldn't comply. She threw the keyboard on the floor, breaking it. She broke along with it, crumpling to the floor at that moment. Averly curled up on the ground, hysterical. She sobbed and gasped for air, begging God for James back.

She never got to say she was sorry. James died thinking Averly hated him.

Averly folded her arms against her stomach, feeling a pain and emptiness that she never felt before.

It was her fault. Her angel had gone back to heaven before his time. James was dead.

Averly choked on the tears that made her blind and unstable.

The world had just lost a great person.   

Averly paced the kitchen, her cell phone wedged between her shoulder and her ear. The unanswered ringing had been consistent, and it was really getting on her nerves.

"Damn it James, pick up," she sighed in frustration, slamming another cabinet.

Lester sulked into the room, almost unheard.

"Are you looking for something?" he wondered aloud in a hushed tone.

Averly spun around, her eyes wide and guilty like a deer in the headlights. 

"Um, yeah I guess. Where's your pepper?" she asked, her eyes glancing around the kitchen for the missing spice.

Lester took a step forward, handing Averly the small glass container that had been in plain view on the table. She blushed, feeling quite foolish to have not seen it. But sometimes the most obvious things are right in front of your eyes.

Lester eyed the simmering pan on the stove. "Where did you get the food?" he questioned curiously.

Averly turned to flip the omelet. "I went shopping this morning when you were asleep. I hope you don't mind."

He shook his head. "Of course not."

Truthfully, Lester hadn't fallen asleep. If Averly hadn't been so busy with the eggs, she would have noticed the telltale signs that he was sleep deprived. Lester had heard Averly leave early this morning and he had been terrified that she wasn't going to come back. He didn't know what he would have done with himself if he had to live alone again. He was so relieved when he heard her come back in the house again.

"I'm making a vegetable omelet. You're a vegetarian, right?" she asked, adding some pepper.

"You didn't have to make me anything."

Averly scoffed. "Please. You had absolutely no food in your kitchen. You're practically emaciated!" she exclaimed, motioning to his thin form.

"I hope your making something for yourself, then. I don't like to eat alone." Or be alone at all, for that matter.

"Of course. I always eat a balanced breakfast," she said, popping a slice of pepper into her mouth.

Lester nodded, acknowledging her statement. "Who were you calling?"

"Huh? When?" she asked distractedly.

"Just when I walked in. You were on the phone," he said, pointed a thumb at Averly's cell phone on the counter.

"Oh. Nobody," she said. Averly didn't want to bring up James in front of Lester.

Lester nodded, not pressing the subject any further. "Do you need any help?" he offered.

"Nope, I'm just about finished. Why don't you go get some plates?" she said.

Lester nodded and complied, handing the plates to Averly. She thanked him and slid an omelet on each dish. They sat down, eating in a comfortable silence. When Lester appeared to be done, Averly pushed her chair back to bring their dished to the sink.

"Where are you going?" Lester asked, his voice raising a few octaves.

Averly hesitated. "I'm just going to wash these off."

Lester settled, relaxing a bit. "Oh, okay."

Averly raised an eyebrow at his reaction but went about her business. Lester stayed seated in his chair at the table, keeping to himself. He kept his head down the majority of the time.

Averly's phone rang, making her jump a bit. She rushed over to it, fumbling to answer it. She flipped it open, pressing the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Averly! We need to talk."

Averly cast a glance over to Lester, who was watching her with sad eyes.

"Now's not really a good time, Gregory," she said in a low, hushed tone.

"This is urgent, Averly. Something has…come up."

"Well it can wait. I have to go," she said.

"Averly, listen to me -"

"Goodbye," she said, cutting him off and ending the call.

Lester stared curiously at Averly. "Who was that?"

"My boss," she answered putting her phone back on the counter.

"Do you need to leave?" Lester asked, panic creeping into his small voice.

Averly gave him a reassuring smile. "Not now."

He nodded, a bit happier now. Lester hoped that he didn't come off as too clingy, like a three year old attached to his mother at the hip. The last thing he wanted to do was drive Averly away. He couldn't stand to be alone anymore.

Averly finished washing the dishes and dried her hands on a nearby dishtowel.

"So what are you planning on doing today?" Lester asked hesitantly.

"I don't know," Averly sighed.

"Welcome to my world."

Averly felt bad for him. Apparently, Lester hadn't been doing anything for a while. She didn't want to leave him alone, but at the same time Averly needed to find James. She felt lost without him, like a sheep without a flock.

Averly really felt horrible for telling James that she hated him. She didn't mean it. Averly needed to apologize. She needed to see James again.

Last night James left in his car. He drove fast, frenzied, and with Averly's words burning in his mind. He had been so close to a simple kind of happiness. There was some kind of indescribable joy that James felt when he was with her. But a higher power had at one point decided that James didn't deserve to be happy. Everything had to go wrong in his life and everyone had to hate him.

James had never been a bad guy. When he was little, he'd eat all his vegetables and brush his teeth before he went to bed. He never had a bad word to say about anyone. James was just attractive and dangerous looking. In reality, he wouldn't even kill spiders. He never intended to hurt anyone and he would never give anyone a reason to hate him. But unfortunately for James, the only people who loved him were the people who didn't know him. The people he loved didn't love him back.

James had no idea where he was going. He just drove. James needed to drive. And as he traveled, he remembered his childhood. It wasn't perfect, but it was a happier time.

"Lessie, slow down!" shouted six year old James. Lester squealed in delight and ran faster.

"You're gonna fall!" he yelped.

"No! You can't catch me Jamie!" Lester shouted back. He continued to run as fast as his four year old little legs would carry him, laughing in a carefree manner. His long, rusty brown hair caught the wind, whipping every which way around his pale face.

As children, James and Lester looked so much alike. Identical, almost. A stranger would most likely mistake them for twins. Both had bronze hair and pale faces - cute in any mother's book. But as James aged, he grew taller, more muscular, and his skin took on a tan shade. His hair gradually grew darker. Lester stayed the same; bronze hair and a pale face. Cute, but in a childlike sense. Lester wasn't a child, though, not anymore.

"Stop!" James yelped at his little brother.

Like any child given specific orders, Lester didn't listen. He continued to run until karma got to him. He tripped heavily over a raised tree root, falling hard in the dirt. He cried out in pain, clutching his knee.

James was by his side in an instant. "Lessie! Are you okay?"

Lester shook his head vigorously, his lip trembling and his eyes watering.

"I should've stopped you," James said guiltily. Even as a child, he wouldn't put the blame on others. Instead, James would always insist that everything was his fault.

"I hurt my knee," Lester whined, a tear escaping from his eye. He had always been a pretty emotional kid, but James didn't mind. This made him want to protect Lester even more.

"Lemme see," James said, gently moving Lester's hand from his leg.

Lester looked up at his brother with wide, scared eyes. "Is it bleedin'?" he questioned, panic evident in his small voice.

"Just a little. Let's get inside," he said, helping Lester up. James put an arm around Lester, helping him limp into the house.

"Daddy!" James shouted when he pushed the door open.

"I'm on the phone James! What do you want?" he yelled back.

"Lester's hurt!" James exclaimed, supporting his brother.

Their father strolled into the room with the phone pressed to his ear. "Hold on," he told the person on the other line.

"Let's have a look," he said, kneeling down. Prying Lester's hand from his knee, he examined his son. After a moment, he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"That's nothing. Buck up and don't be such a baby, Lester," he said, leaving the room to return to his phone conversation.

Lester looked down sadly. He didn't like when his father was disappointed in him. James tipped his chin up, forcing him to look in his eyes.

"You're not a baby, Lessie. Let's go clean you up," he said, walking with Lester to the bathroom. James picked him up, setting him on the counter while he dabbed a damp paper towel on his knee. He dried his cut and placed a band-aid over it. James dried Lester's tears and kissed his cheek.

"You're so brave," he said sincerely.

Lester shook his head. "No I'm not. I'm a baby."

"No you're not. It's okay to cry Lessie," James said soothingly.

Lester pulled his big brother into a hug, clinging to him tightly. "I love you Jamie," he cooed.

"I love you too."

James has a hard time remembering these times. They seem so far gone. He drove with his hands tightly wrapped around the wheel, his knuckles turning white. Tears pooled in his dark, pained eyes. He wanted nothing more than to have things go back to the way they once were.

Up ahead of James, the light turned yellow. Angrily, he stomped on the accelerator, attempting to clear the light before it changed to red. He knew it was dangerous, but at the moment he didn't care. He didn't want to follow the rules anymore. A few cars blared their horns to the right of him, but James ignored them. He went through the light carelessly. After he made it, he was thoroughly disappointed.  He had wanted to be crushed. That would have been a perfect ending to a less than desirable life.

At the next light, James followed the rules. He came to a full and complete stop, no longer willing to rebel against society. He slumped against the steering wheel, considering giving up completely on life.

And as the headlights to an eighteen wheeler barreled towards his tiny car, James realized that his perfect ending was playing into effect.

James felt Averly's fingers grab his hair and tug sharply, pulling his head back. He shot her a curious look, only to see her staring intently behind him. Averly quickly scrambled to the floor, out of James grasp. She put a hand over her mouth and James turned around to see what had captivated her attention. Crumpled on the floor was his brother, torn and defenseless.

"Lester," Averly breathed.

James directed his attention toward her. "Wait, you've met?"

Averly didn't answer. She fell to her knees in front of Lester taking his face in her hands. "Lester," she repeated. He didn't respond, fresh tears trailing down his face.

Averly wanted nothing more than to see his smile, to see his eyes light up. It was apparent that nothing of that nature was going to happen anytime soon. Lester was broken beyond repair.

"Lester," she whispered, pleading with him to say something. Lester's eyes connected with hers, and the tears stopped. His eyes were emotionless - lifeless. In that moment, Lester had made a mental pact with himself to stop crying. It accomplished nothing. He took a stride closer to becoming more like James. He would bottle everything up.

The door slammed behind them. Averly tore her gaze from Lester and watched as James left, fleeing from his problems, his pain. She ran after him, as she always did.

"James!"

He didn't stop. Averly grabbed his arm, spinning him around.

"I have to go," he whispered brokenly.

"No," Averly ordered, trying to pull him back.

"Averly, I can't stay. I can't hurt him anymore," James croaked, fighting emotion.

"So that's it? You're just going to run away and leave him there?" Averly accused angrily.

"Yes. I'm not coming back," he said, looking down.

Averly pushed him, causing him to stumble backwards.

"You coward!"

James looked up, his eyes watering. "I know," he replied softly.

"That's your brother! We've both hurt him. He deserves an apology, James!" Averly shot lividly.

"Can't you understand that I can't go back there!?" James choked, his voice unsteady.

"No, I can't. James, don't make me do this alone," Averly said, her eyes begging for James to cooperate.

James looked away, a single tear slipping down his cheek. "I'm sorry."

He pulled out of her grasp, walking to his car.

"I hate you," Averly whispered hoarsely.

James opened his door and got in.

"I hate you!" she screamed, watching as a pained expression overtook James' face.

He drove away, tears clouding his vision. Averly turned on her heel, hurrying up the steps. She got to Lester in record time, grabbing a cold washcloth along the way. She dabbed water on his wounds, trying to help them heal faster. But there was nothing she could ever do to help Lester heal after what had happened. Lester was fragile and vulnerable, making the healing process that much slower. Had he not been surrounded by such misfortune, maybe he would've had a chance at a pleasantly carefree life. But this wasn't the case, and now he was on the floor, beautifully broken.

"Lester, I'm sorry," she said quietly, tipping his chin up to allow his eyes to meet hers.

Not many people had ever apologized to Lester's face before, even though he had more than his fair share of hurt in his life. He stared Averly directly in the eye and told her the last thing she wanted to hear.

"It's okay," he whispered, his voice raw.

Averly's eyes widened. "What!?" she blurted.

"I said it's alright."

She shook her head in disbelief. "No Lester, it's not. Do you know what I've done?"

"I think I have an idea," Lester replied, not really wanting to hear what she'd done.

"No, I don't think you do. I hurt you. I used you. I stole your dreams, Les."

Lester placed his palm against Averly's face. "Don't beat yourself up about it."

She pushed his arm away from herself. "Why can't you just see that I'm the bad guy!?"

"Why can't you see that I brought this upon myself?" Lester said, pain flickering across his face.

Averly's features immediately soften. "How? Because you had dreams? You aren't destined to fail, Lester."

He looked at her blankly. "Have you met me?" he questioned softly.

In front of her, Averly saw a poor misguided young man, led to believe that he wasn't good enough. When she first met him, she knew that Lester was so much more talented than her.

There comes a point in one's life when their faith is tested. Many, even those with little strength, pull through and go about their lives stronger and more durable than before. But it had been established that Lester was one in a million; pure, innocent, delicate. Every one of his endearing qualities led to his ultimate demise. He couldn't pull through, even though he was under the false impression that was managing. He thought he was doing everyone a favor by accepting failure. Lester was wrong.

"Yes," Averly said confidently. "I don't think you understand what you’re capable of."

"I know my limits."

Averly sighed. She walked over to the corner of the room where a neglected radio sat. She plugged it in and took a cassette out of her pocket. She slid the tape into the radio and pressed play. The version of Eternal August that she and James had recorded began to play.

Lester was silent and observant. He didn't seem surprised by what Averly had done. He had accepted the fact that many bad things were doomed to happen to him.

"Well?" Averly asked after the song had ended.

"I liked it," he stated simply.

Averly stared at him in disbelief. "You're unbelievable. You're not supposed to like it. I ruined your song!"

Lester shrugged nonchalantly. "It wasn't perfect."

"Yes it was," Averly breathed. She took another tape from her pocket. "I carry this with me because it's my favorite song." She replaced Lester's cassette with hers and began to play it. "I've never heard anything as good as it."

Lester was quiet, disbelieving her statements.

"This is you," Averly confirmed, pointing to the radio. "Nobody sounds quite like you. Me and James, well, we're just not that unique. You, on the other hand, are special Lester."

Lester shook his head. "Then why doesn't anyone else see that?"

Averly sat down beside him. "Because people are ignorant. Your music is real. Half the songs on the radio don't mean anything, Lester. The people who sing those songs don't feel what you do."

Lester looked at her with heavy, dejected eyes. "Who would want to?"

Averly stroked his hair. "Don't you ever let anyone tell you that you aren't talented. I've never seen anyone as gifted as you."

"The whole world can't be ignorant, Averly. I'm not as great as you think," Lester said, casting his gaze aside.

Averly forced him to look at her. "Don't downplay yourself. The world sees music in black and white. You're the color Lester. Everyone else is just colorblind."

Lester held her steady gaze and bit his lip. "I don't think the world is ready for color just yet."

He got up and left the room, leaving Averly behind. Sitting in silence, she tried to think of ways to help Lester, but she couldn't come to any conclusions.

"Jamie?"

James set his reading book down and looked up at his thirteen year old brother who was wrapped in a blanket.

"Yeah Les?" he asked softly.

"I'm cold."

James pushed the covers aside on his bed, motioning for his brother to come and sit with him. Lester immediately bounded over to him, his bare feet scurrying over to the impending warmth. James pulled him under his arm, rubbing his back. He internally cursed his mother for neglecting to pay the heating bill. Ever since his dad left, his mom wasn't the same person. James felt like he was completely responsible for his little brother.

"Where's mom?" Lester questioned, craning his neck to see his brother.

"Don't worry about it buddy," James said in a soothing voice. He didn't have the heart to tell Lester that she was probably out somewhere getting drunk.

"Okay," he replied, yawning.

James ruffled his hair. "It's late. Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

Lester glanced up at his brother with wide, hopeful eyes. "Can I sleep here tonight?"

"Sure Les."

Lester laid down as James turned out the light. He was still shivering, so James went to go retrieve the extra blankets from Lester's bedroom. By the time he got back, his brother was already sound asleep. James draped the sheets over his sleeping form. Lester needed them more than he did. A shiver went through his body, but James ignored it. He knelt down beside his brother, running his fingers through Lester's hair and softly humming a familiar tune to him. After a few minutes, James got up and headed toward the door. Tonight, he would sleep on the couch because the bed was too small. Stopping at the doorway, he took a last look at his brother. He was so innocent and vulnerable. A wave of compassion swept over James, and right then he decided that he would never let anything bad happen to Lester.

James couldn't keep that promise. In the end, he wasn't even able to save his own brother from himself. And as James carried an exhausted Averly into his own apartment, he felt that same wave of compassion sweep over him. He lay her down on his bed and she drifted into a non drug induced slumber. James walked away, stopping at the threshold. Pushing the sense of déjà vu aside, he made another commitment to himself to never let anything else bad happen to Averly.

James only prayed that he would be able to keep his promises this time. He wouldn't accept failure.

James turned out the lights and softly closed the door. He still felt low and guilty at the moment. Picking up the phone, he made a decision. James needed to call Lester. He needed to see him again and soon. He knew that he could never make up for what he had done, so he didn't even try to make amends. James was the type of person who ignored the problems that he didn't want to face. Some may call him a coward while others call James human. Instead of trying to patch things up, James bottled his emotions up and ended up blaming himself for everything. He didn't know that Lester didn't hate him. James just assumed. His assumptions led him into deep bouts of depression, keeping him from enjoying what he had. Maybe if he had simply talked to his little brother, time would heal everything. But because James was who he was, everything would remain the same. His intentions were good, but like any human being, he was flawed.

James dialed the numbers hesitantly, his fingers shaking slightly.

The phone rang once. Twice. There was no answer. An automated message machine told James to leave a message. He quickly pushed a button on the phone, ending the call. Biting his lip, James redialed. He decided he would leave Lester a message. He had no idea of what he would say, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it. James knew he had to say something.

The phone rang once.

"Hello?" a miserable voice asked.

James was taken aback. He didn't think Lester was going to answer.

"Uh, hey Les!" James choked in a constricted voice.

There was a brief moment of silence on the other end. "Hi James."

James just wished for Lester to call him Jamie again. He knew that it would never happen, but he just wanted to hear his little brother say it one more time.

"Can I stay over tomorrow?" he blurted. Did that sound too pushy? "I mean, if you're not doing anything. If it would be alright with you…"

Lester paused in thought. "Fine. And no, I'm not doing much of anything these days."

A pang of guilt struck James. If only he hadn't signed the contract. He wished that his brother could've been the one to get the record deal. Lester deserved it so much more. He wanted it so much more. James would've gladly cheered for Lester on the sidelines, offering his support and guidance.

"Thanks," he said, trying to sound grateful. He wanted it to sound like he still needed his brother even if his brother didn't need him anymore.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence passed and James hung up the phone, avoiding yet another problem.

As the dial tone rang in his ear, Lester bit his lip to hold back the tears that threatened to escape.

"I love you," he croaked brokenly to nobody.

Lester wished that he had the courage to have said what he felt when James could actually hear him. But, like his brother, he was flawed.

He hung up the phone and dragged his weary body back to bed, where Lester had been situated for the last few days. He had no intention of getting up today or tomorrow. Lester had run out of food the other day and was only drinking water when he felt dizzy. It wasn't healthy and Lester knew it, but he didn't care. He didn't care about much anymore. He had no reason to. Nobody cared about him, so why should he care about himself?

Begrudgingly, Lester rose from his bed and dragged himself to his bathroom. He leaned over the sink, his breath fogging up the mirror. He used his fist to clear the glass. Back at him stared a total stranger, lifeless and unfamiliar. A shudder shook his body and the hideous figure mirrored his reaction. He was too thin, too pale, and too normal. He wasn't James. He was Lester and nobody else. That's what was wrong with him.

A tear skimmed down his cheek and was followed by more. Angrily, Lester brought both of his hands to his face, embedding his nails into his flesh and dragging them down his cheeks, leaving trails to blood behind in their place. He cried in pain and in frustration. Lester had to get away from the mirror, away from himself. He paced out of the bathroom, out of the bedroom and down the hall. He halted by a picture of him and James when they were happier. That photograph was taken in simpler times, times that Lester longed to relive. He reached a shaking hand over to the picture, brushing his fingertips over the young, cherubic faces. Pulling back, Lester realized he had smeared blood over the glass. He destroyed everything he touched. Choking on a sob, Lester collapsed on the floor, where he would remain for the majority of the day.

"Averly. Honey?" James whispered, brushing her cheek with his fingers. He hated to wake her up, seeing as she got a limited amount of sleep, but she'd been sleeping all day. It was time to go back to Lester's. James didn't want to leave Averly alone in the house, so he was going to bring her. Or maybe he was too afraid to face his brother by himself. Either way, he wanted company.

Averly whimpered and turned on her side. James heart ached for her. She was clearly still traumatized from the night before.

"James?" she whispered quizzically.

"Yeah sweetie?" he asked, kneeling by her side.

"Where are we going?"

"We're going back to my brother's house for the night," James said softly.

"Do we have to? I'm so tired," she yawned.

"We do. Here," James offered, picking her up gently, "I'll carry you."

Averly closed her eyes once again and snuggled up to his chest. James carried her with ease out of the house, gently placing her in the car. She instantly fell asleep, slumping against the door. James reached over and brushed some hair out of her face and began filling the silence by humming a familiar tune.

After a while, James pulled up to Lester's house.

"Averly," James called out soothingly, rubbing her shoulder.

She stirred groggily, sitting up. "Where are we?" she asked with disorientation.

James smiled at her innocent confusion. "We’re at my brother's house."

Averly blinked a few times, willing herself awake. "James," she sighed.

"Yes, love?"

She looked up at him seriously. "Thank you so much for yesterday. I'd be lost without you," she said meaningfully.

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I won't let anyone hurt you, Averly," he said, the truth evident in his eyes.

Emotion swelled in Averly's face. How could someone be so perfect? Leaning forward, she captured his lips in hers, their mouths molding perfectly against each other. James kissed her back passionately, fiercely. Averly pushed herself forward towards him, moving over to his side of the car.

James pulled back, leaving them both gasping for air. "Let's go inside," he said, opening the door behind him. He towed Averly with him, lifting her with strong arms. Averly kissed him once again, wrapping her legs around his waist. James supported her, interlacing his fingers around her back as he ascended the steps. He kicked the door open, never breaking hold of Averly.

When the were indoors, both of them were quite oblivious to their surroundings. James pushed Averly against a wall, kissing her jaw.

"I've never known a good man until I met you," Averly said huskily into his ear.

Opening her eyes, Averly saw something that nearly made her heart stop. Sitting not ten feet away was Lester. The brokenhearted look on his face would haunt her forever. Deep, angry red scratches swelled on his face. He sat with his knees drawn up to his chest, his body shaking with sobs.

She had unintentionally broken the most pure and innocent boy on the earth.

Averly is a sarcastic radio host, starving to become the next big underground music act. She's intrigued by Lester Torres. He's living her dream - playing the gigs that she's been trying to book for years. He craves breaking into the mainstream industry that Averly despises. When Averly begins to live his dream, it shatters their relationship and quickly turns her life into a nightmare.


Eternal August


Chapter Twenty Two: Part I



Tonight was a night Lester would never forget. It was comparable to the evening James signed that contract, crushing his dreams. There were no words to exactly describe how Lester was feeling at the moment. He'd finally hit rock bottom in his life now. He'd previously believed that he'd been living for his music. Lester was then told that he wasn't good enough to book a record deal. Then he decided he was living for James and Averly. Now it seemed like they were living for each other.

That meant that Lester was only living for himself. That was a very lonely way to live.

For the first time in a while, he had company in his home, but Lester never felt more alone. Every song of happiness that had ever played in his mind was forgotten and replaced with a heart-wrenching ballad of lost love. Lester sobbed, sprawled out on his bed, spiraling into a dark and lonesome world of despair where his only company was disappointment. Disappointment was a frequent visitor in his life. It plagued his days and haunted his nights.

Lester was near physical pain and suffering at this point. His chest throbbed a dull ache and he felt sick to his stomach. It was so unbearable in fact, that Lester hastily dragged himself into his conjoining bathroom and hovered over his toilet, dry heaving. Collapsing on the floor, he prayed silently for the pain to subside.

Maybe he was weak, but he didn't care about image at the moment. It seemed like everyone he had ever loved in any way had hurt him significantly. Every dream he'd ever had was stolen from him.

But the funny thing was that Lester only blamed himself. In some way or another, he'd driven his loved ones away, enabling them to hurt him. He'd wanted his dreams so bad that he became undeserving of anything good. Lester pressed him cheek against the cool tile of the bathroom floor, cursing himself for something that wasn't even his fault.

In reality, Lester was just an unfortunate person. He was passive, rarely speaking up for himself. He was too innocent, always wanting to find the good in a person and focus solely on that. He wanted to believe that everyone was as pure as himself. But the ultimate truth was that the world wasn't made for people like Lester. And as endearing as he was, he was just too fragile.

Society thrived on people like James; handsome, talented, and intelligent. Looks initially reeled people in, talent kept them interested, and intelligence won their respect. Lester was more like a puppy; angelic and sweet. A creature that any decent person would never inflict pain on.

Lester brought himself back to his room, throwing his worn body on the bed. He bit his lip, willing the tears to stop, and clutched his sheets.

This was probably the worst time to realize how unfathomably in love he was with Averly. She'd been the only person to ever truly understand him, besides James. He'd never been in love before, but Lester was absolutely positive that this was it. If he'd only came to this revelation under different circumstances, Lester might have had a chance of happiness. But now that she was with James, there was no way he could be with her, because Lester always came in second-best to him. There wasn't ever any competition. And Lester would never steal Averly away from James. He would never hurt somebody the way he'd been hurt. There was just too much agony involved.

Lester just hoped that James would treat her right. He prayed that this wasn't a one-time thing, that Averly wasn't just some girl that James picked up at a bar, intoxicated, to bring her home for one night. She deserved so much better than that. In a brief moment of jealously, Lester knew that if Averly was ever with him that he'd treat her right, no matter what. He'd always tell her how beautiful she was. He'd take her wherever she wanted to go; shopping, chick-flicks, all those things that most guys would complain about, Lester would do with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step. He'd do anything to make her happy, in turn making him happy.

But that simply wasn't going to happen because Lester never caught a break.

And as the lonely silence was filled with heart-wrenching cries, Lester fell into a fitful sleep.

In the neighboring room, James stared at his ceiling. A lump rose in his throat as he listened to his brother's sobs fade away. When no more sound could be heard, James assumed that Lester had drifted into unconsciousness, something he couldn't do at the moment. He was racked with guilt that he couldn't shake off. James had no idea why Lester was crying, but he felt responsible. Lester usually was silent, ignoring his brother as much as possible during his visits. He rarely showed emotion, so tonight's episode startled James. He was under the impression that Lester had gone numb when the contract was signed. James just couldn't fathom what had set him off tonight. He wished their relationship was stronger, like it had once been. Then he could just go into the room and comfort his little brother. But now it was like there was a barricade blocking him from getting to close to his brother, and that wall was called fame.

James had become a different person when he became a household name - not because the success went to his head, but because it all felt undeserved. He constantly felt constricted by guilt and ashamed of what he had done. James was no longer the carefree young boy he had once been.. He was now a burdened young man, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. Nothing held the same meaning anymore. He found that he only really valued his relationship with Lester when it was no more. He yearned for that closeness again, but James knew that it would never again be the same.

James was the last one in the house awake, eventually drifting to sleep with a sad lullaby heavy in his heart and tears flowing down his cheeks.

Nobody got a proper sleep that night. Nightmares haunted the Torres brothers' dreams. Averly's sleep did not come naturally, but rather by the sour effects of drugs. She didn't even wake in the morning when James carried her out to the car at dawn. It was a full hour until she finally stirred, rubbing her sore neck as she sat up.

"Good morning sleeping beauty," James said in an attempt to be lighthearted.

"Where are we?" Averly asked groggily, looking around in confusion.

"Driving," James answered simply.

"I can see that," she said, rolling her eyes,, 'but how long have I been asleep."

"For a while."

"Thanks. Are we going to the clubs tonight?" Averly questioned.

James chuckled, shaking his head. "You really don't remember anything, do you? We already went to the clubs, if you want to call it that."

"What are you talking about?" Averly asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Let's just say I'm never giving you sleeping pills again," James said with a smirk on his face.

"Oh no," she moaned, burring her face in her hands miserably and turning many shades of red.

"I really should've listened when you told me about your poor reaction to sleeping meds," James said, immensely thankful that Averly was back to her normal self.

Averly cringed, slowly glancing upwards."How bad was it?"

"It was like you drank the entire bar and then some."

She tugged at her hair in frustration. "And you let me out in public like that!?"

"I hardly had a choice, dear. You are quite persuasive when you're acting completely wasted," James commented, trying not to laugh.

"Did anyone see me like that?" Averly questioned.

"There were a few people at the club, but they don't matter," James told her, then lowering his voice added, "and my brother."

"Your brother?" Averly asked quizzically.

"Yeah, we stayed the night at his house," he answered in a sad tone.

Averly groaned. "Some first impression, huh?"

"I'll say."

"How do I not remember any of this?" she asked, slamming her head back on the headrest a few times.

"On the bright side, you look refreshed," James said with amusement.

"Yes, but at what cost?"

James patted Averly's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. "Let it go. It won't happen again."

"Let's hope not," she sighed.

They drove in silence for the next half hour before Averly spoke up.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Gregory called me this morning. We're playing a show tonight. We should be there in about ten minutes."

Averly looked at him in surprise. "He just called you this morning to inform you that we have a show tonight?"

James shook his head. "Yeah, Gregory is a short-notice kind of guy."

He was silent for a moment in a brooding kind of way,

"Are you upset?" Averly asked hesitantly.

James paused in thought. "Not at you."

"At who?" she questioned.

"Myself. I hurt my brother."

"Oh. Did I have anything to do with it?"

"How could you? You're never met him before," James concluded.

"Maybe he was offended by my actions," Averly guessed.

"I've brought girls home before. You're not any different from any of them."

Averly shot him a dirty look.

"Besides the fact you're better than them," James added, trying to save himself.

"And don't you forget it. Where are we going anyway?"

"I don't know. Greg just gave me an address," James said, handing a piece of scrap of paper to Averly.

She glanced down at it. "For someone with such a perfect signature, your handwriting is complete crap."

"Oh thanks. Here were are."

"Are you sure? I mean, I can't even read this!"

"Hey!"

"Sorry. Where the hell are we anyways? A bar?" Averly asked, getting out of the car.

James nodded following her. "It looks like it. I wouldn't put it past Greg to book us a bar. He'll do anything if it pays well."

Inside, the club was hardly populated. That was not a surprise, seeing as it was currently five in the afternoon. What kind of club was even open at this time? This one was dark, as most clubs were, with no deejay. It sounded like the radio station being broadcasted over the sound system was that of Averly's previous job. It wasn't playing their song yet, but it was only a matter of time before it did. It seemed like Eternal August was being aired ever other song. Even James was getting sick of it, and that usually didn't happen until the third or forth week of airplay.

Averly seemed a bit too excited to be here, scurrying to the floor immediately and loudly proclaimed that this was her favorite song. This confused James greatly. Currently, a commercial was being played on the radio.

At one point, the manager came over to James and Averly to question whether or not they were over the age of twenty-one. A younger, female member of the wait staff informed the manager of who they were. James and Averly were quickly excused with apologies.

"I could probably get away with murder, huh James?!" Averly giggled wildly.

"As long as I'm your first victim," James mumbled. He glanced around. There were only a few people there. A nervous-looking man with a comb-over, a young woman wearing all black who seemed disgruntled with life, and a butch biker chick with a jean jacket were staring at them. This made James exceedingly uncomfortable. It didn't help that Averly was dancing crazily around him.

"Come on, dance with me James! Or maybe I'll just ask him to dance," Averly said, pointing at the nervous-looking man with the comb-over, who quickly looked away.

"Averly, I think it's time to go home," James asserted.

Averly stomped her foot childishly. James had to take control or he was never going to get out of here.

"Let's go," he said, guiding her out of the club.

"But we just got here!" Averly whined in protest.

"Too bad."

Averly pouted all the way to the car.

James ignored her immature attitude. "Am I taking you home?" he asked.

Averly thought for a moment. "Damn, I forgot my key at home."

"Okay, then call you sister," James reasoned, handing her his cell phone.

"She's not home. Jess went on some road trip with her friend. She'll be back next week."

James froze and the look in his eyes could only be described as sheer terror. "So I've got you all week!?"

Averly clapped excitedly. "Oh, we're going to have so much fun!"

James' hand slipped and hit the horn. He rubbed his eyes, trying to sort everything out.

"As soon as we get home, I'm flushing those pills down the toilet."

Averly nodded. "Whatever floats your boat. Speaking of home, this isn't the way to yours."

"That's because we're not going to my house tonight. Hold on, I need to make a call," James said, dialing a number.

At home, Lester received a call.

"Hello?"

"Hi Lester, it's me."

"Hello James."

There was some giggling over the other line that was quickly muffled. "So I know it's early, but I'm coming now. Is that okay?"

Lester glanced at the clock. It was just about six, which was quite early for James to come down. Usually, he'd arrive somewhere between eleven and one in the morning, when Lester was asleep. Anything to avoid quality time with his little brother.

"Sure," Lester said.

"Oh and do you mind if I, er, bring someone?" James asked uncomfortably.

Here we go again. James and some bimbo 'lady friend' spending the night. Lester loved that.

"Of course not," Lester lied.

"Thanks," he said in relief.

Lester hung up without saying goodbye.

"Who was that?" Averly asked, hovering over James.

"Do you mind? I'm driving!" he exclaimed, pushing Averly away with one hand.

"Sorry," she said, pushing her bottom lip out.

James sighed. "That was my brother. We're staying over his house tonight."

"Hmm. Is he as hot as you?"

"Averly, please," James groaned.

"I'm just saying that you're a very attractive man."

James clenched his jaw, biting his tongue from saying anything too nasty to her. It was just the sleeping pills talking. A few minutes later, he pulled up to Lester's house.

"Hey, this looks familiar!" Averly said.

"Sure it does," James replied, turning the car off. He looked over at Averly, who was almost asleep at this point. Now the medication decides to take its full affect. Perfect. She attempted to get out of the car, but tripped. James quickly rushed out and helped her, but she could hardly stand on two feet. She was a mess.

Lester looked out the window. The girl his brother had was attractive, but a fall-over drunk. The usual.

James hoisted Averly into his arms, carrying her up the steps.

"You need to get some sleep tonight," he informed her as Lester opened the door.

Averly traced a path down his chest with her finger. "Or we could do something more fun," she said flirtatiously.

"No. I'll strap you down if I have to,"James said firmly.

"Oh, kinky."

Averly's eyes never left James. She never noticed Lester standing in the doorway, his expression heartbroken. He hurried to his bedroom without a word.

"I swear I've been here before," Averly slurred, taking in her surroundings.

"You're sleeping here tonight," James said, setting Averly down on the couch.

"But I want to be with you!" she whined.

"Too bad. Get some sleep," James said, leaving the room.

"But it's only six thirty!" Averly complained.

"I'm already exhausted," James fought back, turning around. There wasn't much more to fight about, though, because Averly was already nodding off. James silently left the room, going to his old bedroom.

As he walked past Lester's room, he could've sworn he heard his brother sobbing. But as any coward would do, James ignored it and went on his way.